Crude Diaries

20,000 pounds in the kitty

Location Head in toilet at home | Mood Self-pitying | Date 25 January 2006
Human pyramid with the Guy Family, Fernand & Fernand's wife (Nicole) Photograph: Charlotte Rushton

A mini celebrity in the greasy spoon

Location Greasy spoon cafe in Old St | Mood Black humour | Date 11 January 2006
Osteopath Simon - together with painkillers Nurofen - worked a small miracle on my back, to the extent that I can now do everything except play the piano. Apparently I had twisted a rib which was poking into a lung and causing me to squeal every time I breathed in. The camera equipment and French Alps have owned up.

Excruciating pain

Location Lying flat on floor of office | Mood Rising panic | Date 8 January 2006
The typical amount of gear we carry around would be enough to do anyone's back in Photograph: Charlotte Rushton  

Minus 9000 pounds in the Crude account

Location Spanner Films office (aka spare room in stepmum's flat) | Mood In need of inspiration | Date 3 January 2006
Well, that was a depressing Xmas and New Year surrounded by reproducing family units. And it is of course a well-known fact that you can either be a filmmaker or have successful personal relationships. Still, as Helen Steel says, it's not that she feels great for fighting McLibel, it's that she would have felt much worse if she hadn't. I'd hate myself forever if I chose babies or comfort over Crude.

I'm in love! With an 81-year-old!

Location Hotel with WIFI access down the road from our apartment | Mood Euphoric | Date 14 December 2005
Who could help but fall in love with Fernand?

Swopping Francesco for a mountain guide

Location Chamonix, France. Swanky apartment. Ditched the David Lynch one. | Mood Can't get enough of the mountain air | Date 12 December 2005
I've slowly come to the conclusion that Francesco is not the right person for us as he spends all his time sitting round committee tables/conferences talking about climate change, rather than experiencing it. So, after some helpful suggestions from our 124-strong "Crude Insiders" email list (everyone who gave money or is working on the film), we've set our hearts on finding a French mountain guide, who works up in the mountains and sees all the changes.

A dodgy bloke in the crowd

Location Hot bath | Mood Adrenalin comedown | Date 4 December 2005
Filming the climate change march with our new baby steadicam

Hopefully signed up editor

Location Spanner Films office | Mood Happy | Date 13 November 2005
Entirely predictably, the new monitor arrived today, the day after John's disappointment. I watched the footage at full quality - and found the best shots - and it looked spectacular. David Hill came over. He edited McLibel and I'd love for him to edit Crude too. Only problem is that he's very expensive. But I explained the concept of all the crew owning shares - and getting royalty cheques for the next 10 years - and he seemed to agree.

Sandpaper retinas

Location Spanner Films office | Mood Fed up | Date 12 November 2005
We've been waiting ages to show John Battsek the footage, as we can't look at it at the highest quality until we get the new HDV monitor and Avid setup, which I'm being slow about getting my head around. So we gave in and invited him to come over and watch me looking through tapes trying to find the odd good shot. He looked suitably worried, as I would have if someone showed me that pile of crock and said it was a film. Now he's all disappointed I feel like I've failed my Grade 5 trumpet exam and let down the teacher all over again.    

Putting film before friend

Location Royal Free Hospital waiting room | Mood Guilty | Date 3 November 2005
Everything's gone pear-shaped. The surgeon sprang a last-minute major decision on Best Pal just before she had to go in for the operation. Exactly the reason she'd wanted me to always be there - to help disentangle the jargon. But I wasn't, and now she thinks she made the wrong decision and isn't blaming me as such, but did say, "I've never needed anyone as much as I needed you then, and you weren't there". So now I'm feeling guilt-stricken that I put my film before my friend.